The "ONE"

It's only about an hour since u left.. The feelings is always MIXED! You were such a darling this lately, but I'm still have no idea for who am I to you actually. Last night you got a call from your echo xray. And you went to sierra kilo yankee papa echo with hotel echo romeo. And me? Do nothing. Kind of speechless. And tears discreetly became my friends again last night. I wanted to ask, but I'm not sure what and how to start. Knowing you, you will not start any kind of 'personal' conversation with me. Was that really 'personal'? Was that really a 'secret' to you? And yes, I can't ask. I'm nothing to you, I guess!

Last month when I was at stop by during work....

"I rasa I tak jadik balik lahh.."

"Hey napa tak jadik balik?? You marah kat I ke? Talk to me please..."

"I can't right? It's us!"

"Ok then. I'll give you some space"

And the conversation ends there...

Yesterday I found a note that I gave you at Pudu station when I'm taking coach going back to base. My handwritten note that I am surprised you still keep it in 'everywhere you must bring' item. It's a little note with a bit dirt here and there...
'I knew ONE day I will get this ♥ -->' and I've paste it at your left chest on your shirt just before I stepped out from your car. That was silly! Haha.. 

Well, I'm good about telling my feelings with a writing not with talking. That's me! Even with my friends and family, I've prefer to write or type (yahoo messenger etc)

I think that I was 'lembik sangat'. A person who was always easy to get in tears. While talking I can feel the tears on my eyes. And people can easily see that! Just before I talk, I can feel that I'm about to cry. People can easily know me that I've cried. Red eyes, red nose, big eye bag etc. The last time I was at romeo papa you were saying..
"Mata bengkaknya!" I guess u knew that I was crying that night. I'm sorry Love! I can't help it.. I wanted to say I wanted to ask.. And end up, when I can't let go what was really on my mind.. I will cry...

After I came back from base, I had a chat with Euphoria. Asked her why she look so sad the night when we were having a dinner at Subang. Her Helang will be base somewhere at Nigeria and will have a month working and off day for the next month and continuously for a two years contract. Nigeria! Are you kidding me??? Me and Pelangi was an hour away by an airplane, same GMT and of course still a question mark here and there... And the best part is, the working pattern and schedule that make us more miles away from each other. Thanks to 21st century when everything is just a few seconds click and you can see your loved ones right after! 

Dear my lovely Euphoria, you are a big girl honey. You are the one who can choose, you are the one who still have to make a decision for your future, no matter how hard and how tough the thing is... I can give you a thousand words of advice, million you named it.. But you are the one who will decide what to choose and which are the best for you. That's what Liz always tell me.. 

The chatting became more interesting when Euphoria were telling me this...

"Itu hari masa lepak dinner ngan ____ plus sorg my friend tanyalaa, apa projek next week??"

"Ohww! My girlfriend from Sierra India November nak dtg visit"

And that was a week before I did come back to Kilo Uniform Lima... The smile was only for a few seconds as I realized that was not an official statement. Of course I never ask you who am I to you...

I'm never been so cool as how cool I am now compared to when I was in my previous relationship before. Maybe I will ask you, when the time has come. When there is a thing or two that makes me 'see you' you were 'not a normal you'.. Yes you've changed a lot that makes me melted! But I've always 'slap' my face when I'm about to melt! Poor me!

Liz said this.. "Aku bagi dia 'point' kalau dia nak two of you get a getaway"
Yes we did apply a same date leave to go for a getaway.

A friend of yours who I always see him as a big brother said.. "Move on please, if he doesn't said anything give yourself a break can? Give yourself a dateline. Sampai bila nak tunggu?? I think he still love his echo xray. I do think that. Make up your mind and move on ok?"

Yes my dateline was December, but was it still applicable? 

This was written by Anonymous at your friend's blog that I wish I could said this to you too...

"She'll never be the first one, but she'll be the ONE at this time. That's fair isn't it"

Am I the one? Are You the one?

........ 

Ecah in Glory

the one with HER footprint in the sand
+eight gmt

Alpha India November bilang...

"The band boys with the loved ones"

*tetttttt... So salahh*